And the beat goes on,,,,

I have moved.

With the help of an all girl moving crew, the move went quick and smooth. My heartfelt thanks go to all girls who moved me.

The cats are settling in nicely. Bean is finally not being quite so twitchy. She did not do well with the move at all. Monty, on the other hand, is loving the new place. He sits at the top of the stairs and stares down on us mere mortals in the living room. He also likes to race me up the stairs. Probably because the food dish is up there and he thinks he is STARVING to death. It will be nice when I can finally let them out. I do have to wait a while yet. I don't want them going back to the old place. Fidget is still fat. She runs about 3/4 of the way up the stairs then stops. Gives a big sigh then slowly continues on. Poor fat little Fidget.

Ah yes. The old place. The place flooded the week before I moved out. From the spring run off. Thank goodness I had my stuff in the closet up on pallets. That was because of the flood in January. When I did my walk through after I moved out, the smell was awful! They said I was going to be charged for not cleaning the bathroom and kitchen. I got a little mad about that. I told her that the whole apartment needed to be re done because of the various floods over the years. I don't even want to think about how much mold is in that place.  As I posted on Facebook, I didn't realize how much I hated it there until I moved. There is so much light now! And I have my own door!! I don't feel ashamed to have friends over. Though I have been told it is a bachelor pad. But then, that is what I am. The final furniture placement is not yet complete. I may move things around to try and open it up a bit more. I am really looking forward buying a BBQ and grilling me some steak!

My shots.

They are going really well. I have given myself 3 shots. The first, I just stabbed myself with no hesitation. The next two, I had a hard time. I am not sure why. I still did it but I held back. Maybe, for the next one, I will go and see H and see if I am doing something wrong. Besides, it will be a good excuse to visit with them and baby E.  I did ask H if it was OK that I didn't bleed very much when I injected myself. She said it was good thing. Ideally, there should be no blood. So the fact that there is very little, is a good thing. I am injecting into the right spot. I really want to up my dose though. I need to make a doctor's appointment and find out when I can do that. Plus, I need to go and get blood work done before I go to Edmonton in June. I am really looking forward to that trip. For many reasons. One of which might be the chance to see my Rough Riders play!

I don't really feel any different. I have been watching myself and paying attention to what my body is telling me. I haven't really noticed anything beside my breasts losing some firmness. It could be from the testosterone. It could be from the binding everyday. Yes. Everyday. For at least 8 hours a day. I have found a binder that really works for me. It is actually a belly binder. But it is all elastic. I can tighten up pretty good. Flattens those puppies down pretty good. I pack almost everyday. I like the looks I get. The confusion. The questioning looks. I have been called Sir and Maam all in the same day. Like they have to call me something. And rather then not assign me a label, they pick one. Same with gender pro nouns. Is it a "he" or a "she"? I just don't know! Like the guy at the laundry mat I was talking to while folding my clothes. We were chatting away about different things. And in the conversation, I mentioned being called Uncle. He looked at me a little funny then took off. I smiled as he walked away. One day, soon I hope, other men will look at me as one of there own.

There have been a few minor mood swings. But that could just be me.

See, here's the thing. I am passing as a male. I look male. I feel male. But my body is still female. So I have the same crap a woman deals with. It fucks with my head. There is a procedure I can have done that will stop that annoying little problem. I think it will make me feel better. It sounds awful but I think it will be worth it.

I watched a video on You tube last night. I know. Surprise surprise. This one was on female to male chest surgery. It was very graphic. It gives me an idea on what I am in for. I have heard about the surgery from others. I have read about the surgery and seen pictures but this was the first video that showed it in detail. It doesn't scare me. In fact, it made me want to do it now. I know that seems weird. I want to see what my chest will look like with these things gone. I want to be able to walk around with no shirt on in public. I want to show off my scars proudly. I want to shower and soap my bare, breast-less chest.

No. That is not a sexual thing. It is a human thing. I want to be happy with my body. I want to be proud of it. I want it to match the vision I have in my head. I need it to match. I can wait for MSP to cover the surgery. But it will take a long time. I can pay for it on my own but it will cost a few thousand dollars. So what do I do? Do I wait? Do I save my money? Right now, I am doing both. I am trying to save my pennies( and nickels and dimes and quarters and loonies etc) to pay for my surgery. At the pace the government works, I will end up paying for my surgery myself. And I am OK with that. It means I have better control over who does my surgery. I haven't really done any research into surgeons yet. I have time. But I will take any advice available.

The Bro Code Article #  51

A Bro checks out another Bro's blind date and reports back with a thumbs up or thumbs down.

Dustin

And the journey truly begins

It has been an interesting week or so.

I went to see a new Doctor this past week. Dr.P is amazing and awesome. She treats a couple of other trans guys in town and is not afraid to take charge and take action. We talked about what I am doing and the steps I have taken so far. I told her about visiting Dr. Warneke in Edmonton and my referral to the endocrinologist. And also how my period has been very painful over the years. And how I would like to start  on my testosterone shots before I see the specialist in July.

She agreed. And gave me a prescription for Testosterone.

WOO HOO!!

To begin with, I will be taking .25 ml every 2 weeks. After a few months, we will increase that. Eventually, working my way up from there.

I went to the nurse on Friday and she gave me my first shot. And showed me how to do it myself. She also recommended I watch some YouTube videos on how to do the shots. It is all in the prep really. Get the needles ready, get the man juice ready then prep the leg and straight in. Like a dart. In the meaty part of the thigh. She gave me some extra syringes, needles and a vial of saline to practice with. I bought a grapefruit so I can get comfortable with the grip of the needle and shoving it into my leg.

I am just a little excited about it. Can you tell?


(Here we are about 3 weeks later)

Sorry folks. I had total brain drain. I got sick with a head cold. Then some sort of black plague struck me down. And there has been a lot of other things going on.

First, my official name change paperwork came in. So I have been busy running around and getting EVERYTHING changed into my new name. It has been exhausting and expensive. But I think I have it all done now.

And, I am moving. Yup. Had enough of this dark, stinky and wet basement apartment. With the help of my buddy K, I have a new place just down the block. It works for me because it is still close to work so I can walk. It is a small town house with a loft style bedroom. It will be awesome. Fat little Fidget will be getting way more exercise. The food dish will be upstairs. And the littler box will be downstairs. Hee hee! I move at the end of the month and finally got around to packing. In the past two days, I have managed to pack the majority of my crap. I have 4 big boxes so far for donation and I have thrown out quite a bit. The cats are getting a little nervous. Especially Bean. Poor thing is acting nervous and anxious. I know she will be OK once we get into the new place. It is just this in between part that is messing her up.

The shots are going well so far. I gave myself the second shot. It wasn't near as bad as what I thought it was going to be. It is all in the prep work. If you are all prepped, then it is just a matter of shoving the needle into your leg. Next week is my third shot and I am really looking forward to it. I have not noticed any changes yet but then it has only been 2 shots at a very low dose. he amazing thing is how I feel. I feel normal. Like I have finally found what I was missing. I also have gotten my appointment with the endocrinologist in Edmonton for the middle of June. With it could be in July when I have to go back and see Dr. Warneke but oh well. There is an up point to going in June. The pre season for the CFL starts and the Riders are playing the Eskimos in Edmonton while I will be there. I think I may have to talk my aunt and uncle to going to the game. Hear me Auntie E and Uncle E?

Work is going well. I am now going to be working the early shift. 7 to 4. Think I am going to like it. In fact, I know I am going to like it. Off t 4 PM everyday? Woo Hoo! The boss is also talking about sending me out for more training. And I am all about more training. I like learning new things.

MMM. What else?

That's about it. Like I said, I have been busy trying to get shit organized for moving and getting my name changed on everything.

I will keep you all updated.

The Bro Code Article # 44

A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro.

Dustin