Sunday, October 16, 2011

Sunday morning musings

Ok. So it's been about a week. Sue me. I was tired all week. I work hard ya know!

I've had many thoughts running through my head this week. Lots of up and downs. I think I am catching a cold so I am trying to medicate and drink lots of water. I hate having colds. They suck.

My dad called me this weekend. Because he just wanted to chat. He missed me. We had a great talk. Talking about lots but nothing really important. The kind of conversation Dad and I would have puttering around in the garage on a Saturday afternoon.

Though my relationship hasn't always been peaches and cream. Far from it. Dad and I are a lot alike and that can cause some problems. We have been known to have screaming matches when we piss each other off. I didn't like my Dad very much when he drank. And even after he quit drinking, he was still an asshole. But the birth of his first grandchild really mellowed him out. I think that was the first time I stood up to my Dad and demanded he treat me with respect and as an adult. We've had the discussion a couple of times since. Just kinda a reminder that I am not like my sisters. I did not quit school, I have been gainfully employed since my graduation. Yes. I did make a few bad choices but I never ended up in an abusive relationship or addicted to drugs and alcohol. I have occasionally asked my parents for help with money. Never large amounts and only when I had no other choice. I figured after my folks giving my sisters money for years because they had kids, I was entitled to asking for a little bit of cash every 10 years or so.

OK. Enough bitching about my sisters. Most of you know how I feel about them and those who don't know, well, you get the idea.

So my Dad. He taught me many things. How to change the oil in my vehicles. How to gap spark plugs. How to replace shocks. How to treat people with respect. How to do things for others without expecting something back. He taught me family is important but there is no need to bow into pressure from them. He taught me how to stand on my own to feet and not let people walk all over me. He gave me my sense of humour and over the years, has shown me it is ok to cry.

Whether he wanted to or not, Dad taught me about being man. He took me under his wing and showed me things he didn't show my sisters. We bonded as men. I admit, I am also a huge Mama's boi but there is something special between my Dad and I. I think if I do decide to transition, it will be my Dad that will be the most supportive. He will have even more to teach me.

In the mean time, I know that as I grow older, the more I turn into my Dad. I look like him, I tlk like him, and recently, I discovered, I walk like him. I am my Dad's mini me. HA! I like that idea. After all, my Dad is my hero.


  1. I think that rocks :) Very nice entry into your log, I liked it (and can relate to a lot of it). Rock on :)

  2. I didn't see this until now. I'm sorry you were sick, and I hope you get better, so I can read more of your story. Is the next one ready yet?