Sunday, December 11, 2011

I should clarify,,,,

When I wrote this statement,"Some days I feel that the only people who love me for me is cats.", what I meant was that I don't have a girlfriend or partner sleeping beside me. I know I have friends and family that love just as I am. And I am so thankful for that. I know how lucky I am.

I have chatted on line with a lot of women in various chat rooms. I've heard so many horror stories of these poor people who have lost their friends and even family by coming out. I couldn't imagine how devastating that would be. My experience was pretty easy.  Well, as easy as coming out to your parents can be after breaking up with your first girlfriend.

Let me explain.

I had gone to Grande Prairie to hang out with my girlfriend and a friend for my birthday. Turns out, she dumped me. So, broken hearted, I came home. My room mates told me my phone had been ringing off the hook all weekend so I went to check my messages. I called my younger sister back and heard that my older sister had been beaking off to Mom about me living with a couple of lesbians. That one was a former drug addict. Mom, of course, got really worried about me. She had told my younger sister about it. So I decided I should go talk to my mom as soon as possible. Like that night.

So I head to Mom and Dad's. I make an excuse that I need something from downstairs and Mom, of course, follows me. I started telling her that I really was gay. And that I felt happy for the first time in a long time. Maybe my whole life. There were a few tears. From both of us. Mom said she kinda knew from the time I was a child. (I was and still am a total tom boy.) That she wondered if she had done something wrong. I told her it was not her fault, that I was born this way and even though I just had my heartbroken by my first girlfriend, I was still happy. Then I asked her not to tell Dad. That I wanted to tell him. Then I headed home to mend my poor heart.

Mom went upstairs and told Dad.

His reaction, "Well, I guess she has to try everything once."

I know. Still makes me laugh.

My point, and I do have one, is that my folks never once thought of cutting me out of their lives. Neither has the rest of my family. My aunts and uncles and all my cousins, everyone has been supportive. As for the on going drama with my sisters, it has nothing to do with me being gay. It is more of a difference of opinion thing.

I know the changes I am making now might be surprising to some family members. To others, they may not understand why I need to do what I am doing. But they will always be there for me. As will my friends. And if they walk away during this time of transition, well, they weren't really friends anyway right?

Back to my original point, I want a girlfriend who will snuggle with me, kiss me and support me. Someone who loves me for me. Just like my cats do.

Is that too much to ask?

I didn't think so.

Give me the beat boys and free my soul.



  1. You'll find her, I know you will. Aphrodite is just waiting for the right time to spring her on ya :) Hang in there buddy :)

  2. Good luck finding her. Wait, did you say you're gay? Oooooh, I don't know if I'm okay with that. Ummmm, awkward.