I know. I know. I skipped a week. But I have a really good excuse. Are you ready? Here it is.
My parents stopped to visit on their way back from Alaska.
For those of you who are regular readers, you know how much I love my parents (though they drive me crazy with the nit picking at each other.). I was able to spend the day with my mom again. It was lovely. I didn't even mind being subjected to the baby shower for Stinker.
I really don't like baby showers and will try to avoid them whenever possible. It is the same with bridal showers. I am just not girly enough to find those kinds of things enjoyable. I went to this one, because I love my niece with all my heart. And it was a chance to see and hold Stinker again. Though my mom held him most of the time. He didn't seem to mind. There is something special about Mama.
Of course, hanging out with my parents meant hanging out with the older one. It was a huge test for the words my new shrink gave me "You can not change the thoughts and actions of others.". There were many deep breaths and a few cringes but I managed to be civil.
The new Doc handed me a few thoughts to mull over before I see her again. One was why do I go out of my way to be nice to "strangers" (I.E non family members)? I guess my answer to that is my friends are my chosen family. But I am nice to my family members. Just not the other two. Just because we grew up in the same family and shared some of the same experiences, does not mean we have to be friends. Our perceptions of our "shared" childhood are different and as such, we grew in different directions.
The twin thing came up again. I tried to explain why I hate being a twin. That closeness is not something I craved when dealing with the other one. I wanted to be different. I wanted to be an individual. I know I was born a twin but it does not have to define my life. I hate being referred to as "the twins". I am in my 40's now. I am little too old for such a childish moniker. I hated being dressed alike as a child. Especially if it was dresses. I never liked my given name. I was teased about it alot. There were many fights about it with neighborhood kids.
I have sometimes wondered if being gay and/or being transgendered is more about being different then the other one. It is not a pleasant thought. Really. But it is something I have considered. Then I realized that I love women. I mean LOVE women. Those of you in the "know" will know what I am talking about. From the first time I kissed a woman, I was hooked. And I will be forever grateful to her for opening that closet door for me. It was already cracked open but she let the light in.
This past Friday, after my appointment with Dr.G, I hung out with H and L. And H's friend F. Who is a hottie! MMM. Tasty. And yes H. You can tell her that. LOL We chatted, laughed, went for awesome Indian food. (For those of you in the Peace area, check out Curry Etcetra in Pouce Coupe. Awesome food and great service!) We then dropped F off at home and headed back to H and L's. Where H gave me a haircut. Shows great trust on my part as we all know how vain I am about my hair. She used electric clippers and did a pretty good job considering she was half corked.
*We interrupt this blog to inform you that 2 of my cats are going crazy on cat nip. It is really funny to watch. Resume blog.*
After sitting on the deck, enjoying the warm evening, I came home. With a wonderful feeling of friendship and companionship and feeling of acceptance. And it made me think on what Dr.G and I talked about. Non family members or my chosen family, tend to be more accepting of me. Not to say that my family doesn't love me or accept me. Because they do. I feel their love reaching me through the distance. But my chosen family is here. Not far away. Plus, my chosen family have fewer memories of me to overcome. Those family members that are having a hard time with me and my life and my decisions, it is OK. Really. I can not control the thoughts and actions of others. I only ask you be respectful of me. I ask that if you have any questions, please direct them to me. I am best one to answer them after all.
So I made the decision to not have a relationship with the older one or the other one. I can be around them and be civil but I do not to be part of their lives like they don't need to be a part of mine. I still have great relationships with my nieces and nephews and their kids. I still have great relationships with my aunts and uncles and my vast amounts of cousins so to have one with my sisters is a non issue at this point.
So, as you can see, it has been an eventful 2 weeks. A lot of thinking and a lot of laughter. No tears though. And that is a good thing.
Stay tuned for more of my life. Such as it is.
I am 32 flavours and then some.
Dustin
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