Sunday, November 11, 2012

I have no title

So I can't think of a title today. Probably because I am unsure what to write about this week. I know I missed last week. Nothing really happened that week. I dropped like a stone from the high I had from performing and that's about it. I still feel very proud of myself but the high is gone.

It's OK though. Because now I am planning my next performance and the songs I will do. I have a couple in mind. One song though, I need a 2 drag queens to help me out. That might be hard to find in the Fort that is John. I will tell you more when it starts to come together.

This past week, Melvin and I travelled to Edmonton for work.

Yes. Actual work.

It was a training course for the monitors I work on everyday. Of course Melvin was along for the ride. We had to travel with "supervisor" I can't stand. For some reason, he figured I had to spend all my free time with him.

Sorry. Not gonna happen.

I made plans to see my Aunt and Uncle (Hi Auntie E and Uncle E!). Plus, I would have killed him if I had to spend that much time with him. So I avoided him whenever possible. Even though he had the company credit card, I avoided him.

The course was interesting. I managed to learn a couple of things so that is always a good thing. Day one was cut a little short due to a huge snow storm that almost shut the city down. Crazy amount of snow fell in one day. Day 2 was also cut short. It had quit snowing but the roads were terrible and there were people who had to drive hours to get home.

Melvin made an appearance the second day. He generally behaved himself though he did manage to create a few problems.

Here. Take a look.

I tried telling him you couldn't get high from the test gas but his buddy, Smarty Pantaloons, talked him into trying.

For the record Smarty, you CAN NOT get high from the stuff.

Melvin also met some great people like Natasha, Paul and Al.

Awesome folks.

Even the housekeepers at the hotel fell under Melvin's spell. He got himself tucked back into bed. I don't know how he manges to charm everyone.

It was so awesome to see my Aunt and Uncle. It had been over a year and I had missed them. My uncle is a great hugger. They had watched the video of Oliver's debut and loved it! Nothing was mentioned of my name change or this blog. I directed my aunt to check it out. I hope she does.

Sometimes I wish I could gather all my family in one room and talk to them about what is going on with me. Then all questions can be asked. All the answers can be given. any false ideas or rumours can be dispelled and I will know who supports me and who doesn't. But I don't think that will ever happen. All I can hope for is that they will contact me and ask the questions they want answers to. I will answer those questions. And I won't sugar coat it. Because that is not who I am. This is my life to live. It does not involve making things easier for you. It is to make things easier for me. If  the way I live my life makes you uncomfortable, that is your problem. Not mine.

Does that sound harsh? Too bad. Get over it. I have spent my whole life trying to fit into the box OTHERS thought I should fit into. I do not fit in a box. I fit in my skin. I feel I am finally at a point where I can say I am slightly happy with who I am. Yes. Only slightly. Because I am always growing and always questioning. The moment I say I am totally happy with me, is the day I stop trying to better myself. There are always things I am working on.

*Minor heart attack. I thought I had lost this entire post. I was about to throw the computer across the room. *

I have been writing this blog now for over a year. The other night, I was reading some old posts. I have grown in so many ways. But it also made me realize that I have more to do. This blog was started as a way to organize my thoughts and to help work towards my goal of becoming Oliver. Well, I did that. Now I feel this blog is to help me become Dustin. Whether that is a trans man or a butch lesbian. Whatever it turns out to be, I will be the gentleman I was raised to be. The man my dad taught me to be whether he realizes it or not.

Bro code Article # 102

A Bro shall take care in selecting and training his wing man.

( I am currently taking applications)