Sunday, January 1, 2012

Happy Do Ya!!

Let me explain the title.

Years and years ago, my mom baby sat this little guy named Tyler. He was about 3 back then. He was just learning to talk. New years rolled around and instead of saying "Happy New year!" it came out as "Happy Do Ya!" . And it has been a family tradition ever since. So, "Happy Do Ya!" everyone!

I've had a few things on my mind lately. So let me share them.

First off, I was thinking back to last year when I went to T's Christmas party with her. We had a good time. Had a few laughs. Got our picture taken together dressed all fancy so it was good. Afterwards, the perception was that T and I were together. As a couple. I guess a few of her co workers were wondering if T was gay because she brought me to the party. I know that when I have talked about T to people, they have asked "Is she gay too?" Noooooo. Why would she be? And the same thing when I have talked about having a twin sister. Just because we are twins, doesn't mean we are anything alike. As most of you know, we are NOTHING alike. And I like that.

Why do people automatically assume that everyone I know is gay? I actually have more straight friends then gay. They figure my BFF should be gay. I do have a gay BFF (Hi M!! Me love you long time!) But T and I have been together as friends for more then 20 years. We have been through so many things together. I have never had a crush on her. I have never flirted with her. Why would I? I see her as my best friend. My chosen family. She is T. She is my best friend.

Another thing on my mind is my decision to transition. I think a common misperception is that I want to be a man. I don't. I just don't want to be a woman anymore. I know that some of you don't or can't understand but that is the easiest way to explain it. I am tying to get my mind and body to agree with each other. And it's hard to do. It seems that my body has a mind of it's own. Things just don't feel right. I know that I will have to talk to my doctor and my shrink about what is going on in my head. I can't just walk into my doctor's office and tell him I want to go on testosterone. There will be questions I will need to answer and things I will have to do first. As for surgery, well, I don't know. That is a huge step. It is something I am thinking about. A lot. There are a lot of risks involved. And cost. I haven't really looked into it yet but I heard that the surgery to remove my breasts is not covered in BC. It might be under my medical plan at work. Or at least part of it. It is something that I will have to look into in the future.

There are so many things I would like to do this year. I think get healthy is the biggest one. I know that one I can lose a few pounds and get more mentally fit, things will fall into place for me. I know they will. T and I will be going to Aqua fit. Which is cool. I love water. I am also going to try really hard to stay away from the junk food. I've been doing pretty good lately but I know I need to do more. And more exercise. I already walk to work but I need to do more. My goal is to lose at least 10 pounds before my buddy's wedding in June.  And I know I can do it. I am just stubborn enough.

I have also put my cats on a diet. Fidget is getting out of control. She can't even clean herself properly anymore. So I have to do it for her. That means a bath once in a while and wipes to keep her clean in between baths. Sigh. One more step towards being the crazy cat person, living in the basement. But I want to keep her healthy. And this is one way to do it.  And there is now an eating schedule. They will be fed at one time during the day only. If they eat it all in between, well, they just have to wait till it's time.

So those are my plans for the new year. I don't believe in making resolutions that I know I can't keep.  All I can do is make promises to myself I want to keep. Being realistic in my goals is my goal. Make sense? Good.

It's a jump to left........ Then a step to the right.........Put your hands on hips.........Bring your knees in tight......It's the pelvic thrust......That really drives you insane........Let's do the Time Warp again.



  1. Ooooh I LOVE the Time Warp! :D another excellent musing, my friend. I dig your writing :)

  2. Thank you for having the bravery to share your thoughts on such a personal subject. Keep on being true to you!