Sunday, September 23, 2012

Hello. My name is.....

Dustin Carnell.


I love that movie! Let's see how many of my followers can name that movie!

I am having a typical Sunday. The Saskatchewan/Calgary game is on, the fur kids are sleeping in various spots around the apartment and I am avoiding housework.

Yup. Just another Sunday at home.

I am really looking forward to Grey Cup this year. I think because I am planning a little party. It shows real progress for me. Admittedly, the people I have invited are all close friends and people I trust. But then, why would I invite people I don't like to my home? Seems silly to me.

I will have to clean the house that day.

I bought a Grey Cup jersey from Safeway last week. Have you seen it? It is pretty cool! I am getting my name on it. So sweet!! I really do think that "H" should buy one for "L".

Just sayin.

I ran into a couple of people I knew from my former life yesterday at a local store. They were my ex's step nephew and his wife. Apparently, there is great discord in that family. Worse then mine. It seems almost that whole family is falling apart. There has been money lent and not paid back, gambling out of control, insults flinged around, a married couple having to live with a family member because they are so far in debt, they can't see the light. A grandchild that won't know the grandparents because of a petty issue.

So pretty much the same thing that was going on 7 years ago when I left.

I am so glad I am out of that. It made me sad to hear about it but at the same time, a huge sense of relief that I am where I am now. I know my life is not perfect by any means. But I pay my own bills, support myself and though I am not speaking to my sisters, I am on speaking terms with the rest of my family.

I really do wonder what kept me so long in that relationship. The first 4 years anyway. I guess I had little to no self esteem to think I could do it on my own. That I could meet someone better. That I could be happy. The second almost 4 years was because I couldn't leave while my mother in law was dying. As unhappy as I was, I couldn't do that to my ex. I had enough respect for her for that.

I, of course, figured out I am so much better then that.

Yes. I am taking the high road on this. I can't feel sorry for a family full of co dependence and people who always, ALWAYS blame others for their issues. They own up to nothing. They will back each other up in the lies and deceit they dish out. It is scary. Not one of them is allowed to make a mistake and then figure out how to fix it on their own.  They will bend over backwards to "save" each other when all they are really doing is digging the hole deeper.

I can only feel happy that I am no longer in that cesspool. And I am glad that not everyone related to them think I am some horrible person because I finally left. I had the balls to stand up and say no more and leave. No one in that family is ever going to be truly happy until they learn to live their lives.

OK. Maybe I am a little bitter. Who wouldn't be? One woman who went out with my ex before me, used to steal from the family, beat up the ex, cheated on her. But because that one likes to drink and party etc, she is or was back in the fold. I guess like speaks to like.

Makes no sense to me. None at all.

Onto happier things.

So the two women I was emailing with. One has kind of disappeared off the radar. The other one and I have been texting and there was even a short phone call on Friday night. I am hoping we will talk again very soon. Maybe even today. She is funny and seems very nice. Outgoing. Which I think I need. Someone to drag me out of my comfort zone once in a while. So I guess we will see.

The game is getting interestng so I am going to go and watch.

He was the ghost of a Texas ladies man.


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