Sunday, March 2, 2014

Cold winter days

The poor dog is getting so bored. It has been close to -40 with the wind chill this past week. We go for our walks everyday but she wants to play. It's just too cold for both of us. She holds up different paws after just a few minutes outside. We played fetch in the house last night just to break the boredom. It is supposed to warm up a bit next week so we will be back playing in the snow soon.

It's been a couple of weeks now that Abby has come to stay with me. We are slowly adjusting to each other. I find that I am sleeping better most nights. I am liking the company she provides. I mean, the cats are great but there is something about a dog. She follows me everywhere in the apartment. Sleeps beside my bed at night. Snuggles on the sofa with me. I love her smile and tail wags when I get home from work. It is magical.

I have to call my doctor next week. I need to make sure he put in my referrals. I have to keep this journey moving forward. I can hardly wait to get going on the next stage. I really want surgery. I really need surgery. I am finding it almost intolerable to see what I see everyday. It's uncomfortable. It's hot. It's itchy. It's stressful. Every time I leave the house, I am always aware of how I look to others. I know it doesn't mean anything but in my mind it does. Do I look like a man? Or just a butch dyke? Can they tell I have boobs? Are they flat enough? Do I need another layer? It is a constant drain on my mind and emotions. I know I still have a while to wait before anything moves forward. I can only hope it goes as quickly as my one year RLE did.

There was a bit of a breakthrough this past week too.

I bought a couple pairs of pants for my Mom and sent them to her. Turns out they were way too big. She called me at work to tell me about it and to say she was shipping them back. Now the breakthrough comes from the fact she asked for me by saying Dustin. And in the course of our conversation, she referred to me as "he".

Do you know how huge that is for her? It is showing a level of acceptance that I never thought I would have from my Mom. Her initial reaction to me transitioning was so negative. So to have her say my name and call me by my gender in just over a year since I told her is amazing. I am so very proud of her. I know how hard this is on her. I know she worries about me a lot. But I think she has realized that most of the family is supportive and understanding. And now that the other one and I are talking, it makes it easier for Mom as well. She knows that no one is judging her. Or judging me. They are just loving both of us.

It is another short one this week. I just wanted to share my happiness with you. And to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who reads my blog. Whether you comment or not, it is so wonderful for me to see people reading it. Thank you for the love and support. It means so very much to me.

I found my Bro codes so here it goes.....

Bro Code Article # 12

Bros do not share dessert.



  1. I love reading your blogs Dustin, and I'm so proud of you everyday!!

  2. Is that why you needed your own ice cream? I didn't notice any tits, even when I hugged you.

  3. Is that why you needed your own ice cream? I didn't notice any tits, even when I hugged you.

  4. Dustin Tanner CarnellMarch 4, 2014 at 8:47 PM

    Yes. That is why.