Sunday, April 29, 2012

So I was thinking,,,,,,

Ever have those days where it hurts to think about anything? Not like "Oh My God! I am so hungover and my brain hurts!" kinda hurt but emotional hurt? Like you think" your heart is breaking because you can't stop thinking of bad stuff and you feel like crying" kinda hurt? Yeah. Me too. I had a day like that yesterday. It sucks. Big time.

Turns out I missed taking my meds in the morning Not sure how or why I still forget. I have only been taking them for two and a half  years. But, I still forget. Mostly on weekends. Since I don't really have a morning routine like I do during the week.  And I realized that it is NOT a good idea to stop taking them. Not a good idea at all. If only one day of missing makes me feel that way, then I am really not ready to stop.

I remembered to take them this morning. So stop worrying about it.

I have just over a month till I fly out for Birdman and Mrs.Birdman's wedding. I know I am terribly excited. I can't even imagine how excited they are. Woo! I will miss the bachelor party. But I guess i can't have everything. Mrs.B's sister was looking at Pride activities around the area. Turns out there is one happening nearby. That's pretty cool! I took a look and the parade a d dance are happening the same day as the wedding. So I guess I won't be attending that. But there are other things happening I might be able to get to.

I have also been looking into Blue Jays tickets. Much more reasonable in price then I thought. So I think I will try and take in a game while I am there. I am hoping that someone will want to go with me. (I'm talking to you Chin) or (Maybe you Scooter)

I seen Dr.J last week. Still not so sure about her. I am still feeling that I can bullshit her. And it's almost like all she is doing is going through the motions. I realize she has many patients. But it's like she isn't putting in the work that I am trying to do. She has given me a list of books to read. On co-dependence. As the adult child of a recovering alcoholic , co dependence comes with the territory. There is also a long term relationship with an alcoholic that plays into that. I know there are things I can do to help myself away from those tendencies. And it would be a good thing for sure.

I guess I don't have that much to say today. (Sorry Birdman.) If I think of stuff later, I'll post more. In the meantime,,,,

We're here a good time, not a long time.



  1. I totally get the whole "never" forget ur meds feeling,I fall apart after a day as well and it's no fun at all, keep ur chin up, ur strong in so many ways :)